5 lessons I learned from the judgements of being a young mum

“People take different roads seeking fulfilment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” ― Dalai Lama

When I fell pregnant at 19 I knew that it would come with a huge amount of challenges, but I wasn’t prepared for the brutal amount of judging that would come from complete strangers. For me not only was I a young mum but I also (and still do) look a lot younger than I am which I always felt was more of a curse rather than a blessing because it really exaggerated how young I was. This meant I was immediately judged and experienced  nasty comments, head shakes, stares and eye rolls that got under my skin and really killed my spirit for years. The hardest thing about these judgements was that it didn’t just come from strangers but it also came from the doctors, nurses, midwifes and other professionals who were supposed to make you feel comfortable and safe. So many of my interactions with doctors and hospital staff lacked empathy and our conversations were never of excitement but more a lecture about how hard life was going to be.

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5 tips to supercharge your Sunday!

When I am anxious it is because I am living in the future. When I am depressed it is because I am living in the past. – Author Unknown

Does anyone else get the Sunday blues? Well it turns out there’s actually a word for it which is “Smonday” and is described as “The moment when Sunday stops feeling like Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.” So many people I talk to experience this and I was really startled when my 7-year-old son started getting upset on Sunday nights because he was sad the weekend was over. If I’m honest the reason he would also feel the symptoms of “Smonday” is probably because my husband and I show them so it’s a habit we needed to change.

Below are 5 really simple tips that I have found make our Sunday’s less stressful and more enjoyable. Considering that on average we only have 4000 Sundays to live in our life why would you want to waste it feeling sad about the unknown?

  1. Prepare for your Monday on Friday – It’s easy to get caught up with the excitement of the long-awaited weekend and wanting it to start as quick as possible but if we invest a little more time into doing things that will make your Monday that little bit easier you won’t have a huge workload hanging over your head on Sunday. This can be as simple as leaving a “to do” list on your desk at work so you are clear on what needs to be done
  2. Weekday organisation – Don’t leave all your chores for the weekend. I always make sure that I do at least one load of washing a day and spot clean around the house so when the weekend does arrive I’m not spending the entire time cleaning.
  3. Get outside – Whether you catch up with family or friends, check out that market you have never been to or even just walking to your local park, getting out of the house can do wonders. Its proven that having a change of pace and environment does wonders for your physical and mental health.
  4. Schedule some weekday fun – My husband and I did this because we felt like we were stuck in a rut during the week and wanted to mix things up a bit. We find even going out for dinner on a Wednesday, or visiting some family and friends really breaks the week up and means you’re not relying on the weekend to have fun.
  5. Find your why – Okay so this may not be something you can do overnight but I’m adamant that once you find your purpose in life it makes waking up every day that little bit easier as you are able to focus your energy on the things that matter the most.

I hope you find these tips useful and please feel free to share any tips you find helpful below!

Thanks for reading xo

5 Important Lessons My Children Have Taught Me

“Children have neither past nor future; they enjoy the present, which very few of us do.” – Jean de la Bruyere

If there is one thing I have always been certain about in life, it is that I wanted to be a mum. It may have happened a lot sooner than I had planned but it was meant to be and has been an incredible journey so far. I love listening to the things my children have to say, the way they see the world is so simplistic and not yet tainted by ego or judgements. I still have a lot to learn but so far these are the five lessons that I value the most.

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  1. The beauty in the small things – Our son notices the tiny details of everything he sees. His inquisitive nature means slowing down at any construction site we go past as he is in awe with how things work. Our daughter is very similar but she will hear the birds singing before anyone else and she will ALWAYS stop to smell the flowers. It’s so sad how blind we become to the environment around us as an adult and it results in us missing the small yet most beautiful things.
  2. To slow down – As an adult we get stuck in the rut of rushing to get things done, even something as simple as reading a book is a whole different experience with children. When I read a book with my children they will ask questions after every sentence, they’ll analyse the pictures to help make sense of the words and once its finished its almost a guarantee they’ll want to read it again. These are the best times to practice being present and treasure it while you can.
  3. Experiences have more value than things – Whether it’s as big as going on a holiday or a little as going on a bike ride its guaranteed that you’ll hear children talking more about the things they have done rather than the things they have been given, a valuable lessons for the whole family.
  4.  The power of laughter – There is something about hearing a child laugh that brings so much joy to our lives. The best thing about this, is that it doesn’t take much to make you laugh even if it is just pulling a silly face or hearing a lame joke. If us adults had more of a light-hearted attitude to everyday things maybe we could learn to still smile even when things aren’t perfect.
  5. To be a better person – Before children you live your life how you want with little thought to anyone else. Then when you have children you have these little people who idolise you and copy everything you do. This in itself has taught me SO much, I know that if I expect my children to make good choices that I need to make them too. I want to be a good example to my children so that they have a positive impact in our forever changing world.