“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
The quote above is from one of the most amazing speeches I’ve seen on YouTube given by Steve Jobs to the graduates of Stanford University in 2005. I watched it multiple times this week and the timing was perfect as yesterday was Australia day which also marks the anniversary of me becoming an Australian citizen and a day I always like to reflect on how much my life has changed.
They may forget what you said but they will never forget how you made them feel. – Carl W. Buehner
Tomorrow my youngest will be starting school and just like many other parents I’ve got a whole lot of mixed emotions going on. I often hear of people struggle with the loneliness of their youngest child growing up and of course that’s a huge part of what I’m feeling today but the feeling that has been overwhelming me the most is guilt.
Whenever your child reaches any milestone you tend to reminisce about all the memories you have of them before they got to where they are today and of course the usual question of “where did the time go?” always comes up. Now when I did this with my son 3 years ago on his first day of school I would always reassure myself that although one baby had grown up I still had my little girl who was still dependant on me and wasn’t going to school anytime soon. I remember thinking that I would try to make the most of every second of her being so little so when this day came along I would be ready for it. Well I was wrong, and I let my work consume me which didn’t leave a lot of time for me to absorb those precious years before big school and that’s time I can never get back. I think this is why I’m consumed with guilt on top of all the other emotions I had when my son started school and it’s hard to move past.
Lucky for me I have one of the best friends you could possibly ask for and a while ago now she shared with me some advice her mum gave her and its always stuck with me. Her mum said that the most important years to be there for your children are the tween/teen years as this is when they really start to be confronted with a whole lot of changes, not just with their body but with their relationships, school, independence and responsibilities. It’s during this time that being more present and building trust with your children can have more of an impact on the rest of their lives than whether you were there for them to witness their first step or not.
I don’t want to be feeling this same way when my children graduate from high school so although I may have missed some of their milestones in the early years I have made a promise that I’ll be there for them in their adolescent years when they need me the most.
Good luck to any of the other parents reading who are going through the same thing!
Thanks for reading xo
“When your attention moves into the Now, there is an alertness. It is as if you were waking up from a dream, the dream of thought, the dream of past and future. Such clarity, such simplicity. No room for problem-making. Just this moment as it is.” – Eckhart Tolle
On a recent holiday to the Whitsundays I was reminded of a meditation podcast Meditation Oasis I used to religiously listen to. It was almost 8 years ago that I introduced my now husband to the podcast which coincidentally happened to be in the exact same place my sister in law had organised accommodation for our family getaway at Christmas. It bought back a flood of memories of us enjoying the podcast together, before children, before the financial stress of having a mortgage and before starting our business. I’m not sure when I stopped listening to the podcast, maybe it was after my son was born a year later or when I went back to working full time but its something that I probably need more than ever before.
The thing I love most about meditation oasis is that each podcast can go for anywhere as long as 30+ minutes to as quick as 4 minutes, the guided meditation podcasts are perfect for beginners and incredibly relaxing. I’m not going to let any excuses stop me from taking a couple of minutes out of my day to meditate.
A special shout out to my amazing sister in law who booked our accommodation (even if it was just a coincidence) as I don’t know when I would have stumbled across these podcasts again.
It was these podcasts that helped inspire my journey of finding my inner zen and I highly recommend that if you’re wanting to introduce meditation as part of your daily routine to give these podcasts a go!
Thanks for reading xo