Start making success happen today!

“The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself.” – Tony Robbins

It’s that time of the year when everyone starts thinking about new year resolutions and I’m one of them. This morning I did my usual routine of watching a TED talk while getting ready and coincidentally stumbled across “Programming your mind for success by Carrie Green.”  This is seriously now in my top 10 favourite TED talks and I cant believe I hadn’t seen it before. Below are the main things I took from watching Carrie talk about how she became successful and some tips we can all incorporate into daily life to help us reach our goals too.

The power of our mind is incredible- Fear, obstacles and lack of motivation can greatly impact the decisions we make, it may seem obvious to some but when I started thinking about the opportunities I have had in the past that I didn’t take the reasons all link back to the above. It’s crazy to think about how different my path could have been if I was able to overcome the fear of failing, getting through the couple of obstacles that were in my way or ignoring that little voice in my head over analysing the consequences of the decision.

If we can make our minds certain that something will happen, our minds will figure out a way- So many of the most successful people in the world will tell you that they got to where they wanted to go by programming their minds for success. Its first important to know what you want to achieve, why you want to achieve it and the person you need to become to make it happen. I know that not everyone knows what they want to do which is totally fine but while you don’t know what you do wantavoid doing the things you don’t want until you figure it out.

Seeing is believingWhen you know what you do want visualising it is a powerful way to trick your mind into believing that you already have whatever it is you want or that you have achieved the goal you are wanting to hit. Our subconscious will act upon the images you create within, whether they reflect your current reality or not. Guided visualisation involves you vividly imagining what you want to achieve, seeing it happen and feeling it happen as if it was happening right now. Creating a vision board with all the things that motivate you and placing it somewhere you’ll see every day will remind you to do some visualisation exercises that will work with the universe to get what you want.

Do you have a vision board? If so please feel free to share as I love seeing what motivates others!

Thanks for reading! ♥♥

Everything happens for a reason

“Be kind. Be thoughtful. Be genuine. But most of all, be thankful.”

I have a couple of people on my bucket list that I want to see before I die and one of them is Jack Johnson. There’s something about Jacks voice that instantly soothes my soul, I have so much appreciation for his natural talent with all things music and even just listening to one song can change my whole mood around. As you can imagine when I found out he was finally touring Australia I registered for the pre-sale and got the tickets within seconds of them being for sale. So here we are, it’s the day my favourite singer is performing and I’m sitting at home writing a blog.

Last night I did not get any sleep at all, I randomly get severe heart burn which is so painful and no matter what I do to relieve the symptoms nothing works, the last time I had heartburn this bad was over a year ago and for some unknown reason it decided to return last night. So, because of this and my sleep deprivation I made the hard decision to resell the tickets on to someone else. I was contacted by a lady who offered me money for the tickets and explained that her daughter was in hospital and she had just missed out on the tickets from someone else. My natural reaction was to give the tickets away, I mean the thought of having a young child in hospital is heartbreaking and the pain the entire family must be feeling is indescribable. Of course, the gesture was very much appreciated, and I learnt more about her daughter’s illness which has already meant the removal of a tumour from her brain and will involve another year of treatment and recovery.

For me my sleep deprivation and severe heart burn is the best thing that could have happened and it randomly coming back last night was a blessing. I would never have spoken to this beautiful family today and would never have been able to have the opportunity to help them even if it was just a small gift. My husband and I have also spent the day reflecting on the things we normally take for granted and after having a rough week this was the reminder we needed to be grateful for every moment we have together.

I have mentioned before that I believe everything happens for a reason and today is the perfect example of the universe making things happen for the best.

Find out who you are (Q&A)

“You have to start knowing yourself so well that you begin to know other people. A piece of us is in every person we can ever meet.” John D. MacDonald

This post was inspired by one of my favourite bloggers discoveringyourhappiness who posted this a while ago. Its a great way for others to get to know you and for you to get to know yourself. I hope you enjoy!

1. Do I believe that everything is meant to be, or do I think that things just tend to happen for no reason at all?
I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. Life is about energy and choices, what will be will be.
2. Do I forgive and forget? Or do I forgive, but always remember?
I forgive but ALWAYS remember
3. If I could give one piece of advice to everyone in the world, what would it be?
Be kind to yourself and others
4. Do I think that people can change, or that they just are who they are?
I believe that people can change but it certainly doesn’t happen overnight.
5. Would I consider myself to be religious or spiritual?
Spiritual
6. Would my 10-year-old self be proud of me?
I think so!
7. What do I think is the best revenge?
Happiness
8. What would I change about myself?
Being more consistent with changing the way I think to improve my mental health
9. On the flip side, what would I never change about myself?
The genuine care I have to help people and my strength to keep going
10. Can I confidently say that the path I am on in life right now is the one that I (and no one else) would want for myself?
Yes, its taken a while but I finally feel that my choices are leading me in the right direction
11. It’s the year 2040. Where am I?
Living in our dream home, making some plans to travel and probably planning my 50th birthday
12. Am I a morning person or a night owl?
Morning person, I literally start falling asleep at 8pm and feel so guilty if I sleep past 7am 
13. Would I consider myself to be more creative or more logical?
Logical
14. What could I do to be a healthier person?
Exercise! I seriously dislike exercising but I know it’s something I need to do more off…
15. If time and money were no object, what would I do with my life?
I would explore the world with my husband and children. I think travelling provides an education that schools cannot teach.
16. Is it all about luck or hard work?
Hard work! I am incredibly passionate about this as my husband and I have done everything on our own by working hard.
17. Should I live with no regrets, or learn from my mistakes?
Learn from mistakes.
18. How would I describe myself in only five words?
Kind, Honest, Compassionate, Loyal and optimistic
19. Family first, true or false?
TRUE!
20. Can discipline be learned?
Yes, with practice
21. Am I as loyal as I think I am?
I think so
22. How could people be a better friend to me?
The friends I have in my life are amazing as with age I have learnt to only let a few the best of friends into my life
23. How could I be a better friend to people?
I’m useless at replying to text messages, so probably more consistency with keeping in contact
24. Is conformity a good thing or a bad thing?
This is such a tough question and I don’t have a straight answer. I can see the pros and cons of both
25. What is a book I read that completely changed my outlook on life?
The Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama XIV, Howard C. Cutler. I actually wrote an entire post on why this book helped me so much –> The book that helped me find happiness
26. How can I be generous when I am not rich?
Generosity doesn’t have to just be given with money. You can give your time, wisdom, learning’s or skills to help those in need.
27. How can I improve dialogue and communication with those I deeply disagree with?
Listen more than you talk, absorb what they are saying and if you choose to respond, do it without making any personal attacks or judgements.
28. If I had to make a list of my top 10 most important values, what would they be?
Respect, Gratitude, Honesty, Compassion, Courtesy, Integrity, Optimism, Dedication, Kindness and Patience
29. What are my deal breakers for romantic relationships?
If the person is untrustworthy or smells lol!
30. Do I love myself?
Not as much as I should
31. If not, how could I find a way to love myself?
Love myself like my children and husband love me. 
32. Is trust always earned, or is it a given until it’s broken?
I tend to give until broken, but I think a happy medium of both depending on the situation is good.
33. If I could apologize to one person, who would it be?
Myself
34. And what would I say to that person
I’m sorry for neglecting myself for so many years because I was comparing myself to others
35. If I was able to say one thing to my ex, what would I say?
Thanks for showing me what I don’t want in a relationship
36. If I could have one person apologize to me, who would it be?
An old friend
37. And what would I want them to say?
I’m sorry for not listening when you were asking for help
38. Do I ghost people or do I give them a reason for breaking ties?
If the reason will cause more drama I would rather ghost people
39. Do I believe in karma?
Absolutely
40. How do I show I am angry?
My facial expressions! I unfortunately get tears when I’m so angry but have to keep my cool
41. In my opinion, what are my greatest strengths?
My commitment to my family and work, inspiring and helping as much as I can.
42. In my opinion, what are my greatest weaknesses?
I worry too much, I like being in control and I can be too hard on myself.
43. If I could go anywhere in the world, where would I go?
Back “home” to Wales, where I grew up
44. Is work-life balance important to me?
Yes, although I struggle to find the balance.
45. Is family important to me
Absolutely, especially now I have my own children
46. Is friendship important to me?
Yes but quality rather than quantity
47. Is romantic love important to me?
Yes
48. If I could have one talent, what would it be?
I would love to be able to draw
49. What is one part of my life I miss and why?
My last year in Wales (I was 14), with my family and friends. It was one of the happiest times in my life
50. What are elements from that time I could incorporate into my present?
Establishing the strong friendships in the community I had around that age so my children can also feel the joy i felt
51. Do actions really speak louder than words?
Yes, although I understand that sometimes actions take time
52. Am I happy with my career?
I’m getting there
53. If not, what could I change about my job to be happier and more satisfied?
I am currently studying to be able to professionally help others achieve goals and motivate them to be their best selves.
54. What’s more important to me, self respect or being right?
I have learnt throughout the years that self respect is more important to me.
55. Do I learn from the past or live in the past?
I learn from the past but struggle to let go of the memories of my past
56. When I die, what do I want to be remembered for?
Being a supportive and loving wife to my husband. A mum my children are proud of who is their rock and raised them to have a positive impact on the world. Finally I hope to be the person who empowers individuals to make changes in their life to achieve long term goals. 

What I learned from the judgements of being a young mum

“People take different roads seeking fulfilment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” ― Dalai Lama

When I fell pregnant at 19 I knew that it would come with a huge amount of challenges, but I wasn’t prepared for the brutal amount of judging that would come from complete strangers. As well as being a young I looked (and still do) younger than I am which back then I felt was a curse (now I’m so grateful for my genes.) I remember walking around with my pregnant belly and seeing people stare or shake their head at me and would always feel like I was being talked about. When I was heavily pregnant I went for one of my last check-ups in hospital with a new doctor I hadn’t met. When he asked me how I was feeling I told him that my back was causing me a lot of pain and he responded by rolling his eyes and told me “well then you should have used a condom.” I get it, of course his response was true to a certain extent, but I bet he wouldn’t have given that same response to a 30-year-old suffering with back pain from pregnancy.

The little comments, head shakes, stares and judgements got under my skin for years and I would dwell on every interaction. I would spend so much time on trying to find ways to make myself look older and wishing that people would just get to know me before assuming the worst but it was exhausting. I finally accepted that I can’t change what people think of me, but I can change what I think of others and more importantly how I make others feel.

This is what I have learnt

  • We are all different – Just because you have been taught to do something one way or have been brought up to live with a set of values it doesn’t mean this is the right way or the only way. Educate yourself in the area you are about to make an assumption about as knowledge is power.10390909_10152991825510569_6269588378585546019_n
  • Appearances can be deceiving – The person wearing scruffy clothes doesn’t necessarily have less money than the person wearing a suit. Too often we are quick to judge a book by its cover and their cover isn’t necessarily their real or whole self. This is similar to how we judge someone who has a disability, unless we can physically see it we assume the person is lying. We tend to believe what we see; and if it can’t be seen, it simply doesn’t exist.”
  • Give the person the benefit of the doubt – I learnt from working in retail that sometimes people’s actions don’t reflect who they are. I have been yelled at more times than I can remember but there was a particular time where I had a very irate customer come into store yelling at me about something that was out of my control. I instinctively judged him as being a bit of an ass hole but I did my best to help and once the customer had calmed down he apologised and explained that his wife had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and he needed to rush back to the hospital. Of course, it doesn’t make his actions right, but it did teach me to be mindful that we don’t know what battle others are fighting or what their situation is.
  • Be mindful – It’s hard to not react instinctively when it comes to our judgment so its important to practice pausing before reacting. Think about the consequences your words and actions may have and if you know they have the potential to do harm, then think of a way to make your response or positive one or at the very lease a neutral one.
  • Focus on personal growth – Be yourself, improve yourself where you can, and accept the parts of yourself that you can’t change. When you become happy internally it changes the way you see things externally and you’ll notice you’ll instinctively see more of the positives rather than the negatives in others.

    “When you judge others, you aren’t defining them, you define yourself.”

The 1 ad everyone needs to watch!

“Everyone smiles in the same language.” George Carlin

It’s a simple video that has an important message and in a short 3 minutes it has the power to change the way we see others and find something in common with people we assume we wouldn’t. I was captivated from the very start and since watching it I have shared it with family, friends and even my team in work as it’s a message we need spread.

We tend to focus too much on what divides us rather than what binds us and are quick to judge without even talking to someone. It’s amazing how asking a few simple questions can make you realise we’re all more a like than we seem but our differences is what makes us unique and the world would be so boring if we were all the same.

In diversity there is beauty and there is strength and it’s really the one true thing we all have in common.