“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” Abraham Lincoln
When I turned 18 I was probably the most lost I have ever felt in life. I was confused, anxious, lonely and desperate for some guidance and acceptance as I felt like I was constantly failing. It wasnt until I met my now husband just before I turned 19 that things started falling into place for me and a lot of that was because I spoke to my doctor and discovered that I was suffering from depression. Everything happens for a reason and im positive that I wouldnt be where I am today if things didn’t happen the way they did but there are some things I wish I had known back then to make it a less painful time.
I really hope these tips can help others and it’ll definitely be something I will share with my own children as they grow.
“To accomplish great things we must first dream, then visualize, then plan… believe… act!” – Alfred A.Montapert
I watched a TED talk a couple of weeks ago by the amazing Patti Dobrowolski about drawing your future and it had me so inspired that today I gave it a go. I have been really interested in visual goal setting ever since I started reading more about the law of attraction and already have a vision board but thought this could be a great addition.
The power of visualisation is incredible. If you can make a habit to mentally visualise an image of what you want or who you want to be your mind will subconsciously start making your dreams a realty. Visualisation also creates an optimistic, positive mindset as you focus on the things you DO want rather than what you don’t and this in itself helps keep you motivated. Adding drawing as a visualisation technique activates the creative right-side of your brain which will help you see new possibilities.
I downloaded a copy of the free template from Patti’s website and also printed the icon guide for some inspiration for what to draw.
Here are some tips that really helped me put this together.
Choose a timeline – Whether it’s a week, a month, a year, or 10 years you’ll find it easier to think of your desired outcome if you put a time-frame on it, this will also help you think of your 3 bold steps.
Create a list – Write a list of your current reality, it doesn’t have to go into a lot of detail, it could just be key words like “stuck” or “bored.” Do the same for your desired new reality. If you’re like me and not a huge visual learner you will find the list as a good trigger for the picture you draw.
Get drawing – My original plan was to start on the current reality side before doing the desired reality side, but I found that once I had that visual of my current reality, I instantly knew what I wanted it to look like instead so drew that straight away.
Colour in – This was my favourite part! I chose to only colour in only the desired reality side of my future as I really wanted to absorb what my desired reality looks like and it also helped me think of what steps I needed to take to get there.
Set your 3 bold steps – So now you know what you want and what it looks like how will you do it? My desired reality is something I want to achieve over the next year so with each of my bold steps I have a list of smaller steps that I can tick off to keep me on track. You can put anything that you want in your bold steps, it can be as simple as “Write my resume” if you are wanting a job change. This is something that is totally tailored to you so there is no wrong or right answer.
This may not work for everyone but I had so much fun doing it and you never know you may discover that you are an incredible artist or in my case an incredible tracer lol.
When I am anxious it is because I am living in the future. When I am depressed it is because I am living in the past. – Author Unknown
Does anyone else get the Sunday blues? Well it turns out there’s actually a word for it which is “Smonday” and is described as “The moment when Sunday stops feeling like Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.” So many people I talk to experience this and I was really startled when my 7-year-old son started getting upset on Sunday nights because he was sad the weekend was over. If I’m honest the reason he would also feel the symptoms of “Smonday” is probably because my husband and I show them so it’s a habit we needed to change.
Below are 5 really simple tips that I have found make our Sunday’s less stressful and more enjoyable. Considering that on average we only have 4000 Sundays to live in our life why would you want to waste it feeling sad about the unknown?
Prepare for your Monday on Friday – It’s easy to get caught up with the excitement of the long-awaited weekend and wanting it to start as quick as possible but if we invest a little more time into doing things that will make your Monday that little bit easier you won’t have a huge workload hanging over your head on Sunday. This can be as simple as leaving a “to do” list on your desk at work so you are clear on what needs to be done
Weekday organisation – Don’t leave all your chores for the weekend. I always make sure that I do at least one load of washing a day and spot clean around the house so when the weekend does arrive I’m not spending the entire time cleaning.
Get outside – Whether you catch up with family or friends, check out that market you have never been to or even just walking to your local park, getting out of the house can do wonders. Its proven that having a change of pace and environment does wonders for your physical and mental health.
Schedule some weekday fun – My husband and I did this because we felt like we were stuck in a rut during the week and wanted to mix things up a bit. We find even going out for dinner on a Wednesday, or visiting some family and friends really breaks the week up and means you’re not relying on the weekend to have fun.
Find your why – Okay so this may not be something you can do overnight but I’m adamant that once you find your purpose in life it makes waking up every day that little bit easier as you are able to focus your energy on the things that matter the most.
I hope you find these tips useful and please feel free to share any tips you find helpful below!
I am SO overwhelmed and incredibly grateful to be nominated for The Kind Blogger award by Danielle from The Preemie-Mummy. This is special to me because the award (which Danielle created by the way) means my blog is doing exactly what I had hoped it would, which is to create a little inspiration and positivity in people lives all around the world. Danielle wrote a description of two types of bloggers she has discovered and I want to share with everyone her description of the type of blogger I have always inspired to be and that Danielle is.
“There are those who do it simply because they love it – they love writing posts, reading other people’s posts and are just happy and grateful to have readers who are interested in what they have to say.”
Thank you Danielle not only for the nomination but for creating this beautiful way of recognising the amazing people around us.
Be mindful of your self-talk. It’s a conversation with the universe. – David James
As I am going through my journey of becoming my best self I have found such an incredible amount of valuable practices, advice, wisdom and lessons to help me along the way. There is no denying that there is a cycle of thoughts, words, actions and attitude that impact everyday experiences. My latest challenge is what I say to myself and yes, I talk to myself a lot lol! I was so disappointed when I realised that the little voice in my head was the biggest negative Nancy I had ever met so I needed to take immediate action to turn her into a positive Polly.
Studies have shown that humans have anywhere from 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day but according to some research, as many as 80% of our thoughts are negative. This research really saddened me and got me thinking about my children’s future because self-talk patterns develop from the day you learn to talk and I want nothing more than for my children to be happy. I hope that by changing my own self-talk patterns it will create a positive habit for my children too.
Here are 3 quick tips to start your process
Mindfulness- Become aware of what you say to yourself throughout the day. We often start the day thinking about the things we don’t want to do or can’t do during the day which has a huge impact on the experiences we encounter. Set little reminders on your phone or sticky notes around the house to remind yourself to be aware of your thoughts so you can identify where you need change.
Find your trigger words- For me I have noticed I say, “I can’t” and “I won’t” way too much so I constantly have this on my radar. When I catch myself saying these phrases I replace them with “How can I” or “I choose” as it empowers me to open my mind and take control instead of giving up. For example, I caught myself saying “I can’t get all my studying done this month” so replaced it with “How can I get all my study done this month?” “I can’t” prevented me from thinking of ways around my situation where as “How can I” prompted me to find a solution to my problem. I now have a plan in place so I can get my study done and I feel far more positive and at ease.
Positive affirmations- Okay so you may roll your eyes at this one as there are probably a million books or cards out there with positive affirmations that people claim will change your life but guess what? Its true! If you create a habit to repeat a positive affirmation everyday that are focused on a goal or outcome your subconscious mind will create situations to make it happen. I have been repeating “My thoughts are under my control” as many times as I can throughout the day and I have noticed a positive change in being able to better control the frequency and severity of my anxiety.
Do you have a negative Nancy or a positive Polly floating around in your head? Dont feel defeated if negative Nancy is dominating at the moment as you CAN change by making some simple changes and I believe everyone has a positive Polly in there somewhere.