“Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.” – John W. Whitehead
I have seen quite a few of these sort of questionnaires getting around social media and I love reading the responses of other people’s children, not only can it be hilarious but also very insightful. I sat down with my 7 year old son and 5 year old daughter at different times and asked them the below questions. I was actually really surprised by some of their responses and it was super precious to learn a little more about them as well as share some giggles with them.
“Letting go helps us to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows others to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands-off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress.”
– Melody Beattie
Resentment is a mixture of toxic emotions formed by anger, hatred and disappointment and is incredibly destructive. What inspired me to write this blog was the realisation that I am surrounded by multiple people who are so consumed with bitterness it has changed the person they used to be.
I have seen exactly what resentment does to people and how it impacts their quality of life. In the words of Malachy McCourt, “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” While you’re latching on to the negative thoughts and emotions you are damaging the relationship with yourself with the people who care for you the most.
I don’t want to seem like a martyr in this blog because I myself have identified that I am resentful for things that have happened in my past too which makes sense as to why in certain situations my anxiety and depression can dramatically spike.
Forgiveness is the answer to letting go of resentment and now I have identified this in my life I can start making a conscious effort to do exactly that, forgive. Maybe if I am able to admit this I’ll inspire others to do the same so we can live in peace and happiness and repair any damage that has been done to ourselves and others.
Thanks for reading!
“Children have neither past nor future; they enjoy the present, which very few of us do.” – Jean de la Bruyere
If there is one thing I have always been certain about in life, it is that I wanted to be a mum. It may have happened a lot sooner than I had planned but it was meant to be and has been an incredible journey so far. I love listening to the things my children have to say, the way they see the world is so simplistic and not yet tainted by ego or judgements. I still have a lot to learn but so far these are the five lessons that I value the most.
- The beauty in the small things – Our son notices the tiny details of everything he sees. His inquisitive nature means slowing down at any construction site we go past as he is in awe with how things work. Our daughter is very similar but she will hear the birds singing before anyone else and she will ALWAYS stop to smell the flowers. It’s so sad how blind we become to the environment around us as an adult and it results in us missing the small yet most beautiful things.
- To slow down – As an adult we get stuck in the rut of rushing to get things done, even something as simple as reading a book is a whole different experience with children. When I read a book with my children they will ask questions after every sentence, they’ll analyse the pictures to help make sense of the words and once its finished its almost a guarantee they’ll want to read it again. These are the best times to practice being present and treasure it while you can.
- Experiences have more value than things – Whether it’s as big as going on a holiday or a little as going on a bike ride its guaranteed that you’ll hear children talking more about the things they have done rather than the things they have been given, a valuable lessons for the whole family.
- The power of laughter – There is something about hearing a child laugh that brings so much joy to our lives. The best thing about this, is that it doesn’t take much to make you laugh even if it is just pulling a silly face or hearing a lame joke. If us adults had more of a light-hearted attitude to everyday things maybe we could learn to still smile even when things aren’t perfect.
- To be a better person – Before children you live your life how you want with little thought to anyone else. Then when you have children you have these little people who idolise you and copy everything you do. This in itself has taught me SO much, I know that if I expect my children to make good choices that I need to make them too. I want to be a good example to my children so that they have a positive impact in our forever changing world.
They may forget what you said but they will never forget how you made them feel. – Carl W. Buehner
Tomorrow my youngest will be starting school and just like many other parents I’ve got a whole lot of mixed emotions going on. I often hear of people struggle with the loneliness of their youngest child growing up and of course that’s a huge part of what I’m feeling today but the feeling that has been overwhelming me the most is guilt.
Whenever your child reaches any milestone you tend to reminisce about all the memories you have of them before they got to where they are today and of course the usual question of “where did the time go?” always comes up. Now when I did this with my son 3 years ago on his first day of school I would always reassure myself that although one baby had grown up I still had my little girl who was still dependant on me and wasn’t going to school anytime soon. I remember thinking that I would try to make the most of every second of her being so little so when this day came along I would be ready for it. Well I was wrong, and I let my work consume me which didn’t leave a lot of time for me to absorb those precious years before big school and that’s time I can never get back. I think this is why I’m consumed with guilt on top of all the other emotions I had when my son started school and it’s hard to move past.
Lucky for me I have one of the best friends you could possibly ask for and a while ago now she shared with me some advice her mum gave her and its always stuck with me. Her mum said that the most important years to be there for your children are the tween/teen years as this is when they really start to be confronted with a whole lot of changes, not just with their body but with their relationships, school, independence and responsibilities. It’s during this time that being more present and building trust with your children can have more of an impact on the rest of their lives than whether you were there for them to witness their first step or not.
I don’t want to be feeling this same way when my children graduate from high school so although I may have missed some of their milestones in the early years I have made a promise that I’ll be there for them in their adolescent years when they need me the most.
Good luck to any of the other parents reading who are going through the same thing!
Thanks for reading xo
“Patience is the companion of wisdom.” -St. Augustine
My kids do this wonderful thing when their dad is home which is acting like normal, amicable humans with the odd hiccup but nothing too major. When their dad leaves, whether it’s for the afternoon, an hour or even 5 minutes they turn into irrational, troublesome crazies that I’m sure have stored away a list of ways to test my patience and use them all at once when I’m alone. Today was one of those days and after the final argument of why they can’t play with alien or mermaid poop inside the house I decided that we all needed a walk and some time out of the house.
We got to our local park which also has a water playground section and of course within a couple of minutes both children had “accidentally” got wet so already feeling defeated I thought f*** it, just get more wet even if you both are fully clothed, no I don’t have towels or a change of clothes, but I can’t be bothered arguing anymore. I sat and watched them run around, laugh and have fun for an hour before I realised the time. We stopped to have a celebratory ice-cream for the miracle that happened which was a calm afternoon without my husband or me having to raise my voice. Sometimes getting out of the house, even it is just for a couple of hours is so refreshing no matter your age. It doesn’t have to cost money, it just uses up some of your time and time is something to be cherished.
So a special thank you to my wonderful children for testing my patience today because it reminded me to pause, breathe and spend some valuable time with them which is just what we all needed.
“A moment’s insight is sometimes worth a life’s experience.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
- Time is precious – As I’m sitting here writing this blog I can’t believe a whole year has passed already and what’s even scarier is that I can barely remember what happened. Am I confident that I cherished my time the same way I cherish food or any other life essentials? Definitely not, but it’s something I’m learning to do and will continue to priorities my decisions on how I use my time just as much as I cherish anything else because time is something that cannot be replaced.
- I am blessed to live where I do – In April I went on a cruise and visited some of the most beautiful Islands I have ever seen and are home to some of the poorest people in the world. I’ll never forget how incredibly happy, friendly and polite the people were. Driving around and seeing the poor living conditions some of the families live in and the limited opportunities they have yet they seemed more content than any of the people we met on the ship.
- Breathe – The power of taking a breath before reacting to a situation, making a decision or relieving stress is amazing!
- The importance of communication – My husband and I live busy lives and the time’s where we noticed we started getting more frustrated with each other than normal was when we stopped communicating. The lack of simple communication like how we were feeling or what was going through our mind started taking its toll on our relationship but once we realised that we were lacking a simple chat, things immediately improved.
- How much I value our friends – Over the years our family have established a solid group of friends most of which are more like family to us now and were actually the results of friendships our children have made at kindy and school. I love and appreciate every single one of our friends and am so thankful for another year of making memories with them.
- I know what I want to be when I grow up – It only took 27 years but this year I finally found what I really want to do. I started reading about LNP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) which is defined as is an approach to communication, personal development, and psychotherapy. It’s basically a set of rules and techniques recommended for changing behaviour to achieve self-improvement, self-management, and more effective interpersonal communications. I have enrolled into a professional coaching course specialising in wellness and will also do an extra course on workplace coaching.
- Healthy eating is a must – I admit that the results of eating a lot of junk food is finally catching up with my body and general health. The experts aren’t joking when they tell us to be mindful of what we are putting in our body and a nutritious diet is key for our general well-being.
- Crystals are so much more than a pretty rock – I have always been interested in crystals but never really knew the purpose of them. It’s during the last few months of the year I have been learning about the energy of individual crystals and how the vibrations they give can help us.
- Some things are better left unsaid – It’s as simple as that.“Speak only if it improves upon the silence.”- Gandhi
- The older kids grow, the harder parenting gets – Seriously though, what a challenging part of daily life parenting is, and I always thought that it would get easier with age! I’ve learnt that EVERY child is different and the worst thing you can do as a parent is compare your child to others (no matter their age). I’ve also learnt that you can’t control who your children choose to be friends with, but you can teach them right from wrong and guide them to make good choices.
I could keep adding to my list all day but these are my top 10 learnings for the year. I hope everyone had a fantastic end to 2017 and I’ll be sending the most postive vibes to everyone for an unforgettable 2018!
Thanks for reading!