“When there are things to do, give it everything you’ve got. When there is nothing to do, do nothing.” – Ajahn Brahm
My anxiety can make taking a break impossible. Our family is constantly on the go and although it can be exhausting I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment when I go to bed at night and being distracted from my thoughts. When I stop, even if it’s for a brief a moment I can feel my anxiety overwhelm me. I start thinking of things I should be doing or I feel consumed in guilt for not being busy and then I start worrying about things I normally don’t have time to even think about. It’s a mindset that has formed unhealthy habits over the years and I have noticed that even when I do have some “relax time” I often distract myself with my phone or the TV.
“Patience is the companion of wisdom.” -St. Augustine
My kids do this wonderful thing when their dad is home which is acting like normal, amicable humans with the odd hiccup but nothing too major. When their dad leaves, whether it’s for the afternoon, an hour or even 5 minutes they turn into irrational, troublesome crazies that I’m sure have stored away a list of ways to test my patience and use them all at once when I’m alone. Today was one of those days and after the final argument of why they can’t play with alien or mermaid poop inside the house I decided that we all needed a walk and some time out of the house.
We got to our local park which also has a water playground section and of course within a couple of minutes both children had “accidentally” got wet so already feeling defeated I thought f*** it, just get more wet even if you both are fully clothed, no I don’t have towels or a change of clothes, but I can’t be bothered arguing anymore. I sat and watched them run around, laugh and have fun for an hour before I realised the time. We stopped to have a celebratory ice-cream for the miracle that happened which was a calm afternoon without my husband or me having to raise my voice. Sometimes getting out of the house, even it is just for a couple of hours is so refreshing no matter your age. It doesn’t have to cost money, it just uses up some of your time and time is something to be cherished.
So a special thank you to my wonderful children for testing my patience today because it reminded me to pause, breathe and spend some valuable time with them which is just what we all needed.
“Every day is a good day to be alive, whether the sun’s shining or not.”- Marty Robbins
We have just landed to spend a wonderful 5 days with our family, doing nothing but relaxing and having fun and now that I’m here I feel totally fine but I did put my poor husband through a bit of stress before we left.
I know that the majority of people would get anxious about making sure everything is good to go when you arrive at your destination or making sure that nothing has been left behind but for me that’s the easy part. What makes me anxious is the potential that we’ll rush out of the house leaving it messy and unorganised! Yes I know it’s ridiculous but I just can’t seem to feel comfortable leaving until my house is clean, organised and fully prepped so when I get home there is nothing to do.
I have been like this for as long as I can remember and my family know that when I’m in this anxious bubble of mine to just leave me alone and let me do what I need to so the rest of the journey is a peaceful one.
I know it’s probably not that uncommon to have some sort of apprehension when it comes to leaving your home especially if your home is your sanctuary like mine so it’s not something I’m going to stress over changing any time soon.
My advise to anyone else who experiences anxiety whether its similar to me or not is to make sure you communicate how your feeling with the people around you because the vibe that you radiate makes the situation feel far more toxic and stressful than what it needs to be. Ask for help, be mindful of your emotions and remember that what will be, will be.